I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
