I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
