speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize