So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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