Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
