If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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