I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
