Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
