this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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