A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
