She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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