So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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