I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
