is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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