3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
