I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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