Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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