I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
