and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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