I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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