I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
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Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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