Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
