nut hugger
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
