maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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