I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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