I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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