Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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