I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
