I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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