i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She announced her abortion via fbk
In America we eat man semen.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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