So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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