I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
