Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
