Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
