I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize