Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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