shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
