If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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