There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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