operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
