There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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