He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
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she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
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Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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