haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
