Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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