i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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