at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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