He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
