he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
