I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
