you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
