omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
