i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i love accidental penises.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
