Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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