Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
