did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
