I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
