turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
