so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my shit smells like andre
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
