Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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