Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize