I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
